There is so much about this whole being human thing that I can find wanting. My imagination paints the ideal picture and nothing will measure up. It is after all, my imagination. And my perfectionism. And my idealism. Which are flip sides of criticism. It is easy to criticize. And sometimes criticism is good. It can make us better.
I’ve finally got this watercolor paper prepped to my standards, (my perfectionism) for my next commission.
The beginning, a blank sheet.
This next commission is not a perfect story. It is a completely wanting story and one that breaks my heart. Because we are human. Because we are mortal. Because in the end, we may not get everything we want out of this life. It doesn’t really all lay in our hands, there is fate and forces completely out of control. There is death.
And the most not perfect thing of all is love. There is Love. Love is not wanting. It just is. The act of appreciating Love in the face of nothing perfect is what this commission is about.
The trust placed in me in enormous.
It is teaching me to balance my perfectionism with pure and loving appreciation.
The specter of climate change is an underlying disquiet. What unusual weather we are having is small talk, a subtle code and acknowledgement. There is change emerging around a corner too sharp to see around.
The question is not if it is a hoax or who caused it. The real questions: What will humans do about the impending change? Can we adapt? Will we fail or thrive as a species?
I do not know.
The Earth is healing. She’ll be fine. She may throw us off like unwelcome parasites to make room for her rebirth. But this world will re-emerge, glowing, growing and beautiful.
Are you looking for inspiration? A little down to earth reflection and renewal? Want to stay current on what’s new and what to expect from Marika? My emails are food for thought packaged with color, soul and humor.
Truth: An artist comprehends no separation between art and life.
But recently I learned that I subconsciously regard aspects of my art as separate.
I have told myself this: Writing is not painting. But writing is most definitely art.
In this way…
When I decided to take the leap of faith and become a painter, I let go of others’ judgment and my worry. You know, that little voice that wants to please and seeks praise? I threw that out the window. It does not help the artistic process. Truth: I have an unique artistic voice that is not for everyone and that is the nature of art.
My paintings touch people and some people profoundly. I focus on this. When I paint for someone or some theme, I do my best to put their skin on and see the world from their perspective. The painting should be profound for that person or theme. If it touches more people in the process, that is a lovely side effect.
Paintings are an expression that creates meaning, relationships, and ultimately expand our understanding of life. Mine will do that for a few or many. But not all. Ok. I accept this and let go of worry.
When I handed “A Healing Place 2” off to my client, she stood in her living room and announced that she was going to read the story card aloud to her daughter and husband.
“Ack!” I choked and covered my face. I had a mini-panic attack right there. I wanted to run.
It was a Moment of Truth. A Teachable Moment.
Here on this blog and in all my marketing attempts I have exposed (one aspect of) my artistic soul in a gallery of public paintings and processes. I have no panic attacks. It is a struggle but ultimately I trust myself here.
But in that moment I could not listen to someone pronounce my words. I wring heartache into writing. I did not want to hear it and be faced with a critique.
Some damage, huh?
Writing is a cracked and bleeding medium for me. This is a revelation. I have been manipulating words and hiding behind the painting, a coward. Writing and I have a long history, longer than painting, but before I knew how to protect myself from all the real, imagined and self critics. It is my first love saturated with juvenile expectations and painful miscomprehensions. It is riddled. A puzzle of meaning and pain.
I need to get over it. If there is something my painting can teach my writing, this is it.
How to describe the climbers’ magic? To persevere, to embrace challenge, to un-puzzle rock, to conquer fear and reach uncatchable vistas and beauty. Adventurers who explore their inner-life landscape with earth’s stone-maps. An ultimate union.
Watercolor 7″ x 12″
To Buy
This painting will be available to buy at Art in the Park in South Lake Union May 7th, 2015 from 11-6 with a frame. $100
climbers in frame
9′ x 12″ prints will be available. I will be able to customize the background and highlight with gold, silver and iridescent colors for $45
Tomorrow, the family is heading to Costa Rica for spring break. We expect lots of sun, beach, relaxation, pool time, monkeys, maybe a zip line or horse back ride and definitely a lot of exploring. We are going to Playa Flamingo, Guanacaste. It is hot, it is beachy and the jungle literally spills into the ocean. There is nothing like a change in scenery to shake off the winter grime.
So trapped here, voluntarily and blissfully. What will I take?
I took these to Mexico. The brushes hold water in the stem and I can paint on the plane pretty easily with them. From Seattle, this is going to be around 10 hours of travel time. Though I don’t love them, they are packable.
The pan watercolors are not my favorite. I have a lot more flexibility with tubes. But they are portable. Plus, I have this huge set of new ones, not even opened.
I used up my watercolor paper journal and the art store didn’t have any. So I grabbed some small Arches Watercolor blocks.
This time maybe I’m going to take some high chroma QoR tubes, my silver and gold watercolor, and nicer brushes and one palette so I can do some real painting. My husband is going to think I’m crazy. The last time we were in Costa Rica we were robbed – maybe not. But I can’t bare to part with them!
Oh yeah, and a sketch book and pencils with pencil sharpener.
At my studio party on Saturday, a few people asked me last night if it was hard to let my paintings go. And I answered no. As I’ve let them go one by one I have prepared myself for each sale and it has felt good. I love my new profession.
That night was a good night. Beyond expectations.
Six of my originals sold and all ten original watercolor pendants as well as many prints and scarves and cards. At one point there was a line for sales and our house was hard to move in. My husband commandeered me; no more socializing, I had to help him take credit cards.
After everyone left, I finally had a glass of wine. The next day I tried to let it sink in. There is a strange disconnection that occurs for me as I watch my goals unfold. It takes me awhile to quit doing and just absorb the reality, the lovely reality. I’m flying.
My husband, family and I chatted about what went well and what could go better. I had a goal for 2015 to sell 10 original paintings, I’ve already exceeded this. I need a new goal. My son says maybe I should set a goal to make ten million dollars. 🙂
He knows I like to say anything is possible.
After the Studio Party
As I looked at this bare wall I ached a little bit at this mass departing. In a good way, it is bittersweet and joyful, but there is a little ache. Painting is an act of love and I love each one like a child or piece of me. They are moving on to loving homes.
The sale of the originals are the hardest parting. They carry the handprints of my thoughts, reflection, and the love and ache of painting. And the people who bought them will forever be stamped with the memories and emotions embedded in them. We are merged in some way, some friends and some strangers. That is what makes the parting so sweet and satisfying.
In memory and appreciation the following originals have moved on or will be shortly moving on.
2014: Three Friendships Lost copyright Marika ReinkeSeashell Collectionn (c) Marika Reinke 2015Inside Green 2 copyright Marika ReinkeA Light Embrace (c) Marika Reinke 2015Casting Prayers in Puerto Vallarta (c) Marika Reinke2011: Dragon in the Tree copyright Marika Reinke
And the watercolor pendants which lived such a short life in my hands! They are all gone! I love them and like children, I’m excited for the next phase of their lives.
There is lots of good news but the best news is I’ve got some serious painting to do!
And I’m incredibly grateful for the support of the community. What a wonderful lift off. Thank you!
A tree and climber tend to each other while conjuring private magic.
One offers height, an ever changing maze, adventure, and endless possibility of another world. The other lays hope before her, curiosity and this secret; to understand what lays in her own hands. With each strong grasp and successful push she learns she is capable, again, again, and more.
In a tree’s magic cradle.
Watercolor 24″ x 18″
Buy Here
Original Sold (Commission)
Customized Limited Edition Prints: $65
This was my first thought when my husband suggested this project. I’ve done the graphic design thing. I worked at a firm at one point. I’ve taught design and related software. I really respect graphic designers. It’s a lot of work, talent, persistence, thought, completely artistic but highly client focused and much more technical and straight edged than I’d like my next career to be. I’m not a white space person, I struggle with white space. I’m walking away from a computer screen in favor of a paint brush for a reason.
But all those “I’m nots” is more a defense to keep me in one place. And they are full of assumptions. I’m not in a position to be closed-minded. Plus I generally don’t respect a closed mind.
So I looked into it.
This work in progress is for my husband’s climbing team t-shirt. He sold hiring me to his team, and his coach liked my work. They understand they are getting a paintbrush.
I originally sketched this out vertically. I started drawing with one idea and ended with another. This is my concept sketch.
The team liked it. But we all agree horizontal for a t-shirt is better. My husband doesn’t like pink (typical). They all prefer red, blue and green. The name of the team will be under it. I thought I would use a program for it, but maybe I’ll paint it now. I’m warming to the completely handmade idea.
I don’t usually sketch as heavily under my painting but I am real sensitive to getting those climbers right in relationship to the rocks. We are a climbing family, my husband and I have been climbing for over a dozen years and the kids with us. It won’t be right if they aren’t right.
It’s a small project, but fun to capture something we are all so dedicated to. And perhaps the fear of not getting it right is really why my initial reaction was full of “I’m Nots”.
March 28th, I’m having my first Studio Party at my house. And I’m just going to confess this: I’m excited but terrified. If I thought I could get away with it, I wouldn’t do this. But, I know I have to. My husband insisted and he is even more of an introvert than I am. I can’t say that I want to be an artist and not invite people to enjoy my work. Well, duh.
In many ways, this will be a coming out. This is the official event announcing my transformation from teaching faculty to professional artist. It really is something to celebrate!
But on my list of things I’m not so comfortable with: crowds and being the center of attention. Sigh.
I actually like a good party. And I love to eat. And don’t get me started about wine. 🙂 And I love that art is about people and relationships. I love the mutual gift that is art-making.
So head down, I persist. We will have art, gift cards, scarves, some pendants, wine (for my nerves) and appetizers.
So far we expect maybe 40 people. I will see good friends, old colleagues and a good handful will be bringing friends and people I don’t know.
And another plus; I’m going to apply to some art fairs this year. The jurors want a picture of an art booth. So in the next few days, I’m transforming the dining room into an art booth for the Studio Party. Why not?
My vision; navy walls, cream and/or gold tablecloths, classic wood furniture, accents of burgundy and fiery orange. Flowers and chocolate. Paintings dripping from the walls and furniture. Classy, formal and someplace you want to stay and peek around for awhile.
I can hear my husband rolling his eyes. Me and my visions mean a lot of work for him.
Wish me luck! I can’t wait to see some of you soon!
Did you know that a baby sea turtle isn’t much bigger than a ping pong? And they are dark, almost black. From afar, they could be wet bark and then they move. Amazing. As they grow they stretch that layer thin and the green reveals itself.
Seeing one is witnessing a breathing miracle. The one in Mexico was deadly persistent in its pursuit of the sea. A wondrous role model. Sadly, it didn’t make it. There were many factors against the poor thing, including the crowd of tourists, the daylight, the gentle-ish yet inconsistent surf and the pelicans circling overhead. The survival rate of a baby turtle is about 1% and humans contact lower these chances more. Yes, we can kill them with our love.
It did not escape my daughter, Dana, that this was a and uncommon and momentous event. She drew the experience and then steadily persisted that I paint her drawing.
Dana’s drawing inspired by a baby sea turtle sighting in Mexico
I’m grateful for sea turtle markings which are like an unique topographical map, and gave me some artistic freedom. Dana wanted a golden head. So gold she had it and though I was challenged by it, I’m thankful to not have to map that artistic decision.
Although I’m an abstract and illustrative artist sometimes I find myself struggling with the seen and seek permission to break through the literal. Why do I need permission? Why do I feel like my painting must look like what is? That makes me laugh. I insist there is much we don’t see. I’m very interested in making the invisible, visible. And yet, I struggle. It is a human bind.
Every choice is very deliberate in art making, even when it seems arbitrary. This turtle tested the balance between symbols, color, memory, relationships and art. Because in part, it had to be a turtle as you and I know it while more fantastic to satisfy my child and the child in all of us.
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