Author: Marika

Dana’s Turtle Progress Report

Dana is happier with the turtles progress now. The water has pulled in the ideas she was exploring in her drawing. She notices this. She feels seen, she feels important. I have had a small moment of connection and motherly victory. I'll take what I can get. I get a lot of eye rolls and sighs these days too.


I also washed the head in some deep yellow because she suggested a golden head. I'm really going to have to think about the head now. I'll look at some pictures, but as I write some ideas are forming.


So much of painting is looking, studying, thinking. I often take long breaks and photos on my cell phone so I can just look. Before I had my studio, I used to prop my painting at at the end of the bed before I went to sleep, just to look at it and make decisions for my next painting session.


Her original drawing has a nest of eggs. She has told me not to include it now. Honestly, I'm glad to not include it, I knew it would be challenging to design. It will let me focus on the other elements more thoroughly. I think it will also reflect the experience of seeing the turtles more acurately. And in some way, that makes it more magical for me, and less scientific. Is that weird? The turtle just appears and we don't know where it comes from now.


For me, There is a point in painting, when a the painting goes from being a painting “of something” to a reflection of my viewpoint, where I and the painting merge. At this point I internally say “Now, this is me, now I'm heading somewhere,”. It is as if I and the painting are making our ways towards each other.

 

Ironically, often when I'm done, I laugh and think I must be a little insane. I don't mind being crazy as long as it makes me laugh.

 

The point is emerging, but I'm not there yet.

 

Dana's Tutrle in Progress (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Dana’s Turtle: A Mother Daughter Dance

Dana's Tutrle in Progress (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Dana’s Tutrle in Progress (c) Marika Reinke 2015

It is interesting to me how the practice of art is a melding of personalities and roles.  The artist is the giver and the receiver is the subject or client or both.  But somewhere in this process, I feel I’m gaining a very precious gift and our roles are reversed.  I am grateful.

My daughter wants me to paint her turtle drawing (this is absolutely necessary since I finished Daire’s Dragon).

Daire's Dragon (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Daire’s Dragon (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Daire’s dragon in many ways reflects him. It is all energy, desire and a frenetic wanting of everything without compromise.  My son is 5, almost 6.

This turtle is calmer and more grounded, like my daughter. We saw baby turtles in Mexico this winter and large green turtles laying eggs in Costa Rica a couple years ago.  It was magical, of the real life kind, both experiences were awe-inspiring.  Unlike a dragon, turtles are a real life story. She draws what she sees and learns, she is very scientific and loves the natural world.

Dana's Tutrle in Progress (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Dana’s Tutrle in Progress (c) Marika Reinke 2015

When she saw my progress, she was clear she wants more stimulating colors like the dragon – a golden head for example. This surprised me a little.  She wants, in many ways, more of me in the painting. She also expressed the knowledge that I was only just beginning, and had confidence the end would be a lot different.  She pays attention that way.  

What I’m noticing is that through art, the giver and receiver express their relationship and that relationship matures in the process. It is very intimate and so wonderfully human.

I feel this in all the paintings I have done for others, but witnessing it being expressed from my daughters point of view is very touching and expanding. She is 8 almost 9, and really defining herself as a person. In doing so she is also defining me as her mother. She is making sense of me.

And this is in part what this painting is about, a mother making sense of her daughter and her daughter doing it right back.

Something we will do for the rest of our lives I suspect.  I am grateful for it.

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Magic Starts with Ideas (c) Marika Reinke 2015

How to Make Magic: A 6 Step Primer (Part 1 of 3)

If you want to make magic, you have to believe in magic. If you don't believe in magic, you should stop reading.

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Goodbye Adrian (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Goodbye Adrian

Goodbye Adrian: A Story of Miscarriage (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Goodbye Adrian (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Through the echoes of death, love, blood, fear and sad slow tears we rode this goodbye learning that being lost in the unknowable, uncontrollable, unimaginable only brings wordless awe for the mystery of life.

All things happen for incomprehensible reasons. Souls were meant to meet. This soul needed a fleeting chance to feel our love and a name to be complete.

watercolor 16″ x 12″ 

FEATURED

This painting was featured on the cover of the German magazine raum&zeit May 2016 issue.

http://www.raum-und-zeit.com/shop/lieferbare-raum-zeit/raum-zeit-nr.-201.html

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Original Available: $500 + shipping

Prints available: $75

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Nurture (c) Marika Reinke 2015

To Nurture a Watercolor

Being pregnant is a victory and triumph. It is a miracle that, even if you experience it differently, is not a simple task. It is complex, complicated, at a point inexplicable and by virtue of this - absolutely awe-inspiring. That accomplishment deserves a loud colorful scream - I did it! I did this! Look at what my body can do! Celebrate!

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A Light Embrace (c) Marika Reinke 2015

A Light Embraced

This painting is inspired by a friendship and her vision. To know her, is to know someone embedded in a journey with peace, not just of her own but to those most suffering. And in her journey, her deep strength unseen, her soothing calm beneath the surface. She carefully tends to herself as she rushes to tend yours. Her ability to do this is awe-inspiring.

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Borderless Doubt

I don’t know about you, but this has been a difficult week. It is as if I have been traveling for so long that the wonders of the world no longer shine with their marvelous newness.  I know what’s happening is awesome, but I just don’t feel it.   Once there were highs with each success, now there is just a “BLAH” – done it before.

I have been doubting myself and my goals.  Maybe, I’m not good at this.  Maybe I can’t possibly make this work.   Maybe I was wrong about synchronicity and meaning.  Maybe, I need a new high? I’m good at other things, and unlike art, “proven” to be good at it. Seriously, I’m a really good teacher, project manager, designer and other things.  I’m an ideal employee.

BUT, it really did seem like when I started sharing my art that I was making not just a good choice, but one that cracked open a view of the world that made everything fall into place.  An authentically, meaningful choice.  

I’ve been trying.  I’ve been coaching myself and telling myself this:

 Doubt is a natural part of the artistic process, dance with it.  

But doubt is a sucky dance partner, all he does is step on my feet and piss me off and he won’t leave me alone!  Grrrrr….

This morning, I woke to two unsolicited messages.  Seriously, they were in my inbox when I woke up from two separate but wonderful souls.

One is a cartoon from a friend from: http://themetapicture.com/born-like-an-artist.

Born Like an Artist - http://themetapicture.com/born-like-an-artist/
Born Like an Artist – http://themetapicture.com/born-like-an-artist/

And then this one:

“So since I’m still up at 3 this morning, I want to tell you how incredibly beautiful your print is, and how much it means to me. The gold details bring such life to the vivid colors. The curves and circle touch something deeply feminine in me. And the reds and oranges takes the pain and hurt that has been my life-long companion and turned it into beauty. You created art that speaks to my soul, and I will forever be proud to have your work grace my home.”

Garden on Fire Detail (C) Marika Reinke
Garden on Fire Detail (C) Marika Reinke

And there it is again; this is meaningful!  This is the right choice.  

Dang, it is hard though.  It is a boiling pot full of doubt, self-reflection, points of weakness, victory, beauty, vision and giving, giving, giving but… it is the right choice. And there are no borders – it is messy.

More awe-inspiring are two in-tuned people out there who snapped doubt back in place for me this morning.  Thank you.  Keep doing that to everyone in your life.

I think we all should.


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Daire's Dragon (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Daire’s Very Not Perfect and Wonderfully Uncompromising Dragon

Daire's Dragon (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Daire’s Dragon (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Daire’s Dragon

I breath fire, water and stars on rainbows in the moonlight.  Who says it can’t be so? I will turn them into air.

Watercolor 18″ x 24″ 

The Story

This is not a perfect painting.  By far, it is a lesson in the art of imperfection.  The wobbly line, the chaotic scales, the tail that swells and recedes, the messy colors and shadows, and my incredible frustration with everything about it.

Dragon Tail detail
Dragon Tail detail
Dragon Head Detail
Dragon Head Detail

(As I painted this the paper popped off its board, rolled up and buckled. I was too in love with the dragon to stop and try again.)

It popped off the board and curled
It popped off the board and curled

There are so many mistakes hidden in this painting and there are many, many lessons.

It is not a cartoon, not “high art”, not digitally enhanced or animated and very likely not what you think but maybe what you somehow know is true.

It is my son’s wholehearted and exuberant belief that he can have everything including the “impossible” and “magical”.

And like him,  we need impractical, imperfect, uncompromising magic. Yes, you do. Because life is only explicable to a point.  That blank space, the “I don’t know”, the “science can’t explain”, is where magic thrives, and this dragon lives folding her wings welcoming us to understand this:

We are creatures of magic; the everyday act of living.  

As I worked through the frustration of this very not perfect yet uncompromising painting I began to believe this as well:

Perfection is the enemy of magic.   

We have had it all wrong.

There is no such thing as “perfection”.

And that is real life magic.


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Love Interbred with Fear (c) Marika Reinke 2015

In Search of the *Perfect* Companion

Meet Hate.

Hate (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Hate (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Hate is a very time consuming, energy sucking, and destructive pet.  Not only does he ruin every rug in the house, pilfer every cabinet and consume all food; he is sure to eventually eat you.  And you will be Dead.

For this reason, I do not recommend Hate. When you are in sustained pain or in a series of painful events, Hate may lurk under the porch light.   My advice, let pain swell, listen to Hate knocking, but leave him at the door.  He is not for you. You are better off.

No Pain is better than Hate.  But being the absence of something is boring and shapeless.  It is the epitome of “Eh” with a shoulder shrug.  No Pain is numb, dull, anesthetized and blobby.  No Pain will not kill you but will definitely waste your time and life.

No Pain (c) Marika Reinke 2015
No Pain (c) Marika Reinke 2015

If you are looking for a permanent companion, I do not recommend No Pain.  There may be moments when you welcome No Pain; after a visit from Hate, or a really tough day at work or in the family.  But No Pain should always be a temporary acquaintance.

I guarantee you will love Love.  Everyone loves Love.  Love feels good, warm, comfortable, life affirming and joyful.  Love is a warm kiss and hug, a cup of hot chocolate, a cuddle, a heart bursting life affirmation, a good laugh, a connection and a purpose.  Love promises much and can deliver on it and more.

Love (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Love (c) Marika Reinke 2015

I promise, you will be happy with this companion. Love is an excellent choice.

But, Love is only as good as her conditions.

For an even better life companion, I recommend a special crossbreed that will bring all the benefits of Love plus a thousand more.  This crossbreed brings purpose, satisfaction, energy, empowerment, meaning, wisdom and unconditional Love.  She may not be as beautiful, neat or symmetrical as Love, but this partnership will change your world, challenge you and return more than you expected.

This happens when Love is bred with a healthy understanding and acceptance of your Fear.  

 

 

Love Interbred with Fear (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Love Interbred with Fear (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Warning: This interbreeding takes time, tending, reflection, constant care and a lot of forgiveness.  But, it is when these two opposites interbreed that a life of magic can unfold. When you commit to live with Love while embracing your Fear, you are unstoppable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is living with Courage, a perfect companion.

Courage (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Courage (c) Marika Reinke 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Mammogram (c) Marika Reinke 2015

A Rite of Passage

We should celebrate baseline mammograms like a birthday, anniversary or graduation.

Mammograms usher in a new era.  Let’s make it official and celebrate. In this era, I take the bodies of my friends and loved ones who age with me side by side.  A party is necessary.

Technically, I “do not have a history of breast or ovarian cancer” in my family.  This is routine.

But, I have a history of cancer; ovarian, breast or otherwise.

  • I remember the colleague who passed away from breast cancer within a year of our first meeting.  Shockingly quickly.
  • I sting when I think of a younger acquaintance whose breast cancer returned just yesterday.
  • My heart aches for a beloved colleague as she forges her legacy in the face of stage 4 cancer.
  • At 49, my father died of gall bladder cancer. With this birthday I have entered the decade in which he passed.  This does not escape me.
  • And others…

I have a history of cancer.  I own this history.  

This is what I speak of when I say a mammogram is sign of turning 40.  Aging brings the continual pile of stories and we are wise to listen.

So when the technician pointed at her screen and said, “Here, come and look at this.”  I held my boiling feelings in check. She was painfully inscrutable.

I looked and thought how achingly beautiful.   

That was my breast with lovely web-like trestles, like palm prints, keeping history.  That was my opaque muscle cradling it.  That was my story; my puberty, my first bra, my sexuality, the humble pride, my first love, the assault and guilt, the sun bathing, my cleavage, the tight-or-loose shirt, swollen from pregnancy, aching from breastfeeding, my milk-giving children’s body, cradling them then slowly turning away and now my own but never the same.  And now to be examined indefinitely.

We should celebrate a baseline mammogram because left unto themselves, they sting and stench of aging and forgetting.

But if we listen, they tell our stories and we are all wise to listen.

My Mammogram (c) Marika Reinke 2015
My Mammogram sketch (c) Marika Reinke 2015 

I should mention, the technician wanted to show me my pectoral muscle which extends significantly longer than average and revealed my “tremendous upper body strength.” Another story in the mammogram.

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