Tag: Miscarriage

On the Cover

It is official.  Goodbye Adrian made the cover of the German magazine raum & zeit (Space & Time).  The magazine runs in print and is available in Germany.  I have a few copies in Seattle but none in Costa Rica.     Seite 001 Titel 201.indd

How did this happen?

I was discovered online.  The magazine did a review of possible covers and Goodbye Adrian won the honor.

Goodbye Adrian (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Goodbye Adrian (c) Marika Reinke

Yes, they contacted me for permission and paid me fairly for the use of my artwork. In a digital age, there are still organizations that respect copyright and the work of artists.

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it.  I’m honored.

Despite being on a hiatus from almost everything in Costa Rica my art and Adrian can take on a life of their own.

This work is a story of miscarriage, a story of meaning-making from loss, a closing, as well as a story of hope and beauty in the tragic.

This story, not an easy one, is being honored and being seen.  It gives me hope for my art, the world and women.

And I keep painting.  🙂

BUY HERE

Original Available: $500 + shipping

Prints available: $75

Email me for details.

CONTACT ME

[email protected]

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Goodbye Adrian (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Goodbye Adrian: A Story of Miscarriage (Jan 2015)

Goodbye Adrian: A Story of Miscarriage (c) Marika Reinke 2015
Goodbye Adrian: A Story of Miscarriage (c) Marika Reinke 2015

Through the echoes of death, love, blood, fear and sad slow tears we rode this goodbye learning that being lost in the unknowable, uncontrollable, unimaginable only brings wordless awe for the mystery of life.

All things happen for incomprehensible reasons. Souls were meant to meet. This soul needed a fleeting chance to feel our love and a name to be complete.

watercolor 16″ x 12″ 

about My Miscarriage

In 2008, I miscarried.  I sensed something was wrong and an early  7 week ultrasound proved the pregnancy was not viable.  Adrian had not developed past 5 weeks.  We grieved; our already-named baby, our hopes, our plans for our kids and our imaginary family.

I waited for the miscarriage to happen naturally.

Week by week went by and nothing happened.  I still felt pregnant, I was nauseous and irritable.  My confused body still wanted to tend to the Adrian’s lifeless form.  I felt weak, tired and sad in my waiting.  It was a time of intense numbness and many tears.

After 4 weeks, I began to miscarry and it went terribly wrong.  The bleeding was too heavy.  At the ER waiting room it went from somewhat concerning to intense and scary.  I passed out.  A black, cold, viscous faint that sucked my life force and took away my capacity to think.  I lost far too much blood.

I was revived and received an emergency D & C.  When I woke from the operation, I was enveloped in a deep sadness.  Adrian almost took me with him. I felt stuck and empty from the violent parting.  My capacity to create life had almost taken my own life.  

Untitled Chaos (c) Marika Reinke 2008
Untitled Chaos (c) Marika Reinke 2008 –  I painted after I miscarried 2008.

It is not a coincidence that I became pregnant with my son the same month that Adrian would have been born.  It was our last goodbye and parting blessing.

Miscarriage is a silent and common grief many women bare.  At least 10% – 35% pregnancies are estimated to end preemptively.

FEATURED

This painting was featured on the cover of the German magazine raum&zeit May 2016 issue.

http://www.raum-und-zeit.com/shop/lieferbare-raum-zeit/raum-zeit-nr.-201.html

 BUY HERE

Original Available: $500

Prints Available: $75

Email me for details.

CONTACT ME

[email protected]

E-MAIL LIST

Join my E-mail List Here to get current news of events and special deals. I respect your privacy and will not share this information with others.