Road to Recovery (Fall 2014) copyright Marika Reinke
Some days the winds wrap us up so tight we become the eye of the tornado. Trapped inside, the world collapses on itself and there is no gust we can grasp. The storm picks us up and ponders what it will do while we uselessly fight, kick and scream against the assault and injustice. Then we let go of trying to rein the wind. The chaos unwinds. The winds unfold and beautifully reveal unexpected surprises.
At times, our most beloved feel most distant and those closest most mysterious. Their landscape is illusive, incomplete, and barely graspable. The more complex, the more unknowable. The more loved, the more blind.
What gives me strength when I am weak? Courage when I’m scared? Confidence when I’m uncertain? Heart, humor and spirit written gently on each finger. Because floating in an unknowable sea is just a lovely, bumpy, mysterious dream.
About three weeks ago, on October 11, I made a trip to the ER with ear-ringing pain in my leg. For about four weeks, I had been recovering from a herniated disc and moderate sciatica. After getting a new mattress a week and half before, the pain had been getting worse at night until that morning when it knocked me off my feet. I couldn’t handle it any more, I needed help. The sciatica was acute and I could barely walk.
MRI herniated disc prolapse
What followed was two weeks of limited and painful mobility, lots of sleepless and angry nights and a slow and constant ingestion of Vicodin. I was invalid, needing help with everything from getting dressed, to eating and walking. And I was haunted by the sense that I was transformed. I wouldn’t ever be the same. But I’m still not clear on how.
So I painted. I sat in bed, when I could, and painted in whatever position my body would allow. I researched painting, I blogged about my painting. I ingested more art than pain meds. And I painted my injury.
Here is my herniated disc:
Herniated disc copyright Marika Reinke watercolor 24″ x 12″
That red bulge is what is pressing on my nerve root and causing shooting pain all the way to my toes. And yes, beautiful because any life experience is.
This MRI shows the compression even better.
MRI Herniated Disc – the white oval is the squished nerve root.
Here is my rendering. Interestingly it is like a mirror showing the prolapse on the right but actually mirroring my body as I paint. And the prolapse is exaggerated…like the pain.
Herniated Disc 2 copyright Marika Reinke watercolor 18″ x 12″
Because pain, after time begins to feel as much psychological as physical. The fear of the pain is as debilitating as the pain itself. Every sensation is amplified.
Of course painting an injury begs the question, what about painting a healed Marika?
A healed body is not the same as a healed Marika. I don’t thinking painting a repaired herniated disc would represent a healed me. The answer made me think but, truthfully, it was obvious. It just wasn’t obvious until I began to emerge from the debilitating pain and detoxed.
I can walk now and tackle my rehab exercises. I can see the future. I have a vision. I love being fit and active and I’m ready to do what it takes to get back to it. Ican’t wait to return to crossfit and rock climb.
A healed body is a fit body copyright Marika Reinke watercolor 24″ x 18″
Give me my weights back and a pain-free crossfit workout, then I’ll declare myself healed.
When he was two years old, my son would point to our purple blossoming plum tree and tell me about the dragon there. “But its okay.” He’d reassure me. “He is our friend.”
Watercolor 18″ x 24″
Learning is the process of making connections both literally and figuratively. What muscles are to strength, dendrites are to learning. Dendrites connect synapses, a chemical process and manifestation of learning. A dendrite is almost always a chemical potential. Like muscles, dendrites need many of the same building blocks to grow; energy, sleep, practice, a safe environment, some challenge and encouragement. Some people have more dendrites and more experience, but for all, learning is always possible.
Watercolor 16″ x 12″
Buy Here
Currently all my prints will be ready to ship no later than November 24th, 2014. All orders will be shipped in 1-3 days with standard shipping included in the price. Please contact me directly at [email protected]for other shipping options or if you need to ship internationally in which case there will be an additional charge.
A closer look and the world inside a garden unfolds dramatically.
Watercolor 12″ x 16″
Buy Here
Currently all my prints will be ready to ship no later than November 24th, 2014. All orders will be shipped in 1-3 days with standard shipping included in the price. Please contact me directly at [email protected]for other shipping options or if you need to ship internationally in which case there will be an additional charge.
Original Painting: $250
Personalized Limited Edition Print (of 25) : $50 What’s special about a limited edition print? Click on my Print Options page to find out.
An artist and gardener intuits plant intelligence . It is unsurprising that inside a blade of grass, there is an alien thinking world, unseen and unknowable. If one is unzipped and thoughts were see-able, what would emerge? Are humans capable of comprehending?
Pain is a jealous God. Initially, a lit match and easily blown out. No problem. Disrespected, it flares, setting everything precious on fire, wickedly insisting on surrender. Everything is colored by pain. Nothing will be the same.
Mirror mirror on the wall…
A Queen plots murder to be crowned the most beautiful in the land. Forget royalty, Beauty is the ultimate Power, and cannibalism is an acceptable price to pay for it.
Personalized Limited Edition Print (of 25) : $45 What’s special about a limited edition print? Click on my Print Options 
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